He said that it would be much worse
That it was supposed to hurt for me to 
Become a woman
That my mom would be so proud but 
I could not tell 
This was a special secret that could not 
Be revealed
I don’t understand, I can’t understand
Night after night, he crept and night after Night, I wept
The stairs would creak then 
The door would crack 
Hoping that I would become invisible and 
He’d pass by
Not this night or any night
My heart sobs and my soul weeps
But I don’t cry, I don’t scream
Even if I did, no one would hear me or believe 
He’d tell them I lied and 
That it was my creative imagination
Then that next night it’ll be rough
Mommy won’t leave
She’ll always choose him over me 
So there I lay, a sponge to sweat, 
Spit and semen
All the while, my womb is bleeding
After his dismount, the shower could not be 
Hot enough nor would the bath cloth be 
Rough enough
Once alone I’d let it go, 
Swells of tears blended
With suds and snot
I could no longer hold them back if I tried
But I know he’d go to my little sister’s room, If I cried