For it is written ... - 1 Peter 1:16
(To My Parents, Alice F. and Joseph L. )
When I moved in your womb and my head was crowning
And if that moment in time, you felt you were drowning —
If you were seeking any relief in those moments of few,
You should have given it your all, and done "undeniably" you:
During the first realization that you were "with kid",
You could have done to me, what with your firstborn you did;
Take an Olympic-type dive off the end of your bed
In an infallible attempt to crush my newly formed head.
If you were warned about drinking while carrying me
You could have stopped at a Liquor Store, and set yourself "free" —
Ingesting anything you desired that would totally serve
To "disconnect" me from your "every" nerve.
When time came for your delivery, and I was "cut loose" from you
You had "plenty" of OPTIONS — but only "one" call was due:
You could have told the staff there (all present and tall)
That you had NO desire to keep your baby girl at all.
You should have stopped them from laying me there on your chest
And protested them from placing me close while you rest —
(I've learned that the second you express such a thing,
That you'd NEVER have to hear your child cry ... or sing.)
You should have told everyone / anyone standing near
Of your ill-gotten thoughts, your ideas, of your "fear" —
And assured them that your feelings would linger until
You'd hurt me as I grew — and that you'd possibly "kill".
You should have said you'd attack me "Physically" as I started to crawl
And that you'd hardly "feed me" (if you fed me at all) —
And Heaven forbid if I got hurt (drew blood, skinned a knee)
Because "your" brand of consolation would be to "threaten" me;
Warning me if my "carelessness" cost you even an hour of pay
Causing your having to take me to a hospital on any given day,
How you would "definitely" make this into a thing of "fun"
By beating me senseless (until the "moon" met the "sun")
You should have told someone that I resembled "your" mother
And for "that" reason, you hated me like you hated no other —
That you would never be able to stand looking at my face
And that you'd prefer that I lived some other place.
You see, you did have OPTIONS: You could have left me behind:
What with the "life" you did give, I would have considered it "Kind" —
Anything along those lines would have been "Welcome" you see,
Than being handed to two people who didn't want me.
Rather than taking me through eight full years of Hell
You could have entered the tallest building, dropped me over the rail;
You could have created a receptacle and burned me as ash
Or simply wrapped and deposited me in your Landlady's trash.
Instead of keeping me hidden and out of sight
You should have opened the door and turned on the light -
Invited the first perception if Child Protection in,
Pointed them in my direction, and let whatever begin.
You could have "sold" me to some man as you threatened to
Or simply "ended" my life before death was due —
You could have dropped me in the hands of anyone
And your "responsibility" to me would have been over and "done".
You definitely had OPTIONS.