Reflections of a Tarnished Soul

by Charles Fox Jr.

They say the eyes are the windows of the soul
so why does my soul appear to be so cold?
Why does the illumination radiating from my eyes
appear to lose its luster?
Why is it that hope has become so hard to muster?
My soul stands tarnished on golden rays of light
and sometimes I lay restless in the depths of the night
I laugh at my plight
but in reality, the joke is on me
though I have my use of vision
what is it that I really see?
Am I simply a pawn in the game of life?
or am I simply here to suffer everlasting pain and strife?
Soft spoken and filled with pride
but my own conscious is the only muse in which I confide
while some see what is and and ask why
they end up victims of their own inhibitions 
I see what isn't and ask why not
so I end up a manifestation
a mere guise in the plot
My method is questioned 
yet, my result is praised
which leads me to believe
that living life is like running a maze
but will we ever reach the goal?
what is the price for my soul?
How far must I travel for truth?
I think back to when I was a youth
with impressionable mind
trying avoid any depression I could find
so my soul remains tarnished
until I find what it is I seek
but without hope
the future remains bleak
The world seems funny to me
so I just sit back and enjoy the comic relief
but the smile on my face
only masks my inner grief
so my restlessness builds up
until the level is beyond belief
I find myself conflicted
to knowledge, I am addicted
just as my ancestors predicted
Anxiety has become the norm
but I would welcome peace of mind
in any shape or form
at any time or place
just to have my own space
and be content with my existence
to quench my anxiety
that is the state of my soul
until I fulfill my culture's selection
but in the meantime I exist in eternal reflection.  

Reflections of a Tarnished Soul by Charles Fox Jr.

© Copyright 2002. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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