child born 
mother torn
away from father
to much responsibility for him to endure
in such short notice a babies in the picture
no funds for diapers, clothes or a babysitter
embarrassed
ashamed he feels that he’s the blame for the pain
doesn’t understand why something so beautiful and innocent
has his blood running through it’s veins
doesn’t understand why something so dear and precious
bears his last name
taking a moment to reminisce about his childhood he recalls life without a father
he remembers hard times, welfare, food-stamps, wash’N clothes by hand & mamas cries
making the best with what he had, and being teased in school all the time
he remembers taking a black pen & putting a swoop on his shoe
so that everyone would think that it was a real Nike sign
recalling how mama didn’t have to dress up for work because she wore an apron
she’d work sun up to sun down leaving him at home alone babysittin the other children
just so she could try to make a decent livin
memories of hating mama
contemplating suicide because of mama, wanting to run away from home because of mama, 
memories of joining the military to get away from mama
memories of not calling or writing while away at bootcamp,
memories of anger, animosity and resentment
memories of coming home to visit
and attending a funeral of someone a person that he was unfamiliar with
his father…
Being in his childs life was still not in his mind frame
His mother managed to provide and care for their family growin up
He assured himself that this childs mother will too eventually do the same
Showing not one ounce of shame, not 1 bit
Out the hospital door he EXITED
repeating the only cycle that he was ever familiar with