The Processing part one

by Catherine Butterfly

A process, not a finalized product
A letting go of personal attachment Deliberately 
Willingly cooperating
For this I was born.

Negative feelings
Worried over circumstance
A declaration of un-worthiness. 

Headed down hill a hundred miles an hour 
The worldly man doesn't know he's running on false power.
Nothing but negativity.
All appears impossible for him to achieve
Expressing negativity
Feelings of worthlessness in every action he took.
The poor sucker broke every rule in the book.

Delighted in his knowledge
 He never never played it by the book 
Hidden behind his anxieties,
And frustrations into an over zealous soul

Mine not logical in nature filled with emotions and enthusiasm.
He's desensitized and have started to breakdown caused by Neglect.
Too foolish to notice the price of his thoughts beliefs.

I ache within my heart
As my stomach wept, my brain screamed, 
No longer could you be a repository for my troubled heart.

This sudden transformation you presented to me, 
April of 99 set me free 
this was the one transformation that would allow all truth in,

Here I reached the absolute saturation point, In my self commiseration,
No longer was there a crossroad
Leading down or the other woman's man 
This plight of desperation I now give up. 
There can be no alternative. 
Here lies the only clean cup.

I must grab fiercely and hang on too
What "I" know as truth
As if my life depends on it, for honestly it do.

Sitting before me
This temptation waits for me to yield
But not this time my friend.
Bill not this time.
My hardened senses of self sufficiency 
gradually gave way to you so you thought.
But that was only in your mind. 
Because there will never be a time again where you will lie with me

The Processing part one by Catherine Butterfly

© Copyright 1999. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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