Courting and Romance -- A Brotha's View

by Glendon Cameron

Hello Peeps

Yes, I have been away for a moment but back to one of the things I love, my weekly piece. The thoughts dancing in my head this week are of a lighter nature...maybe. I will let you decide. The topic open for discussion is COURTING, yes, that dusty ritual of meeting and wooing that desired one, creating and executing a process that turns a (potential) into more than a desired one. That is the long and short of it. Let us proceed. I put this out for the simple reason of people believing that men do not think of relationships, .at all. As if the only thing we all want to do is hit it and quit it. That is not true from my place on this issue.

Are we (men and women) too selfish, self-indulgent and in search of immediate gratification to court someone? Taking the time and effort to look at someone as a possible long-term partner or whatever before we ah...sample the goods. My take on this is yes, it is possible and more desirable than the cesspool of despondency and low expectations that we call dating. No, I am not against sex, but I am down for making love in something more earthy than the conventional humping going on today. A stroking of the minds leading to the connection of two souls (Hopeless Romantic In The House) and actually finding out do you even like the person behind the facade before getting quick and nasty, and that takes time. What do the people say? *SPEAK * When you get a moment, and I know you all are busy, I would really like some feedback on this...please.

The ideal forming in my mind on courting is a process replete in substantial, thought provoking conversation touching all issues relevant to both parties. Yeah, yeah, I know people are doing this. To a point. That is how a person that is spiritual ends up with a person that doesn't pray at all. Then when conflict and distention arises in the relationship everyone is clueless to how this came to be. A point I want to drive home loving someone you do not know is dangerous, silly thing to say? That it happens every day, means no one is immune. We do not take the time to know someone these days. I am not believing all of these " I was tricked! stories and the I was lied to and he did this, yada, yada, yada, then in the next breath a man is so stupid joke escapes the lips of the tricked one. How can we be so brilliant one minute, and then mental burnt toast the next, it simply is not congruent.... Ah, the idiot savant theory that is it. Hold up Haters! The hands of the brothers are far from clean, "she trapped me with those kids she told me she was protected" and the litany continues. Once again men are refusing to be accountable for their choices. Oh, here's my favorite "she was on her period, brother got needs, that why I had some strange, now look at my car....@&^%$! If you were courting this fool you would know he was no dayum good to begin with sista Car Key, but live and learn and stay away from my car, you may have a flashback one never knows when one may hit a sista.

How to court a 5 min course; questions, questions, questions and more questions in a number settings about a number of topics if you are afraid to ask you really don't want to know or so scared of the truth you rather live a lie. Ta da, here are the questions; Do you have any goals? If you were rich what would you be doing right now? If you had one week to live what would you do? Have you ever loved anyone more than you love yourself? Do you believe all men are dogs? What does a person need to do to make you feel loved? Would you rather have a true love in your life or a lot of money? These are just a few of mine they have worked really well but it is best to come up with your own. Do things in the company of others, many times your friends and family can see trouble brewing before the clouds you have your head in darken. Remember this is just my opinion and viewpoints so haters stop hating I can hear you sucking your teeth as I type. On more positive ground I will say the ideas presented here have been employed with a great deal of favorable outcomes. So there.

Romance the art of turning the mundane into the extraordinary. Chances for humans to cast a bewitching spell. In the process be appreciated for doing it. Nothing gets my heart beating faster than planning an escape into the world of seduction and bliss. Excuse me I must be going... okay I am back. Romance is not gone. Romance is not DEAD, contrary to popular opinion, she lives in and breathes in all of us. Or we would not be moved by those movies that they are putting out now, Sixth Sense and The Best Man come to mind. Some folk are very afraid of her MOSTLY men and quite a few women. Romance is so different person by person, but we all like and it makes us feel even more alive if we let it. Unfortunately, many do not see it as a necessary parts of the relationship continuum just a perfunctory evil to be conducted on days advertisers say we should. Pity. I feel she should fly and soar into our lives as the sun beams the earth. But that is my musings and I. I left this short and sweet because I have been really filling up the email bin lately. Please accept my apologies. Yes, I was feeling really silly when I wrote this.... peace, love and hairgrease!

Courting and Romance -- A Brotha's View by Glendon Cameron

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