No rewards, no payoffs, allowed myself to be pulled 

in by an undertow of self indulgence.

Not as strong as I thought I would be, 
reached a state of maturity 
and conceived 
that the hopes of dreams of what it could be 
will never be 
a reality for me.  

I  will always remain to him the insane, emotionally drained,
beautiful, intelligent play thang.

That’s all I’m really worth. 
Though a baby for him I birthed,
I can’t be promised anything.

I am hoping that this being 

Keeps one promise 

And the promise is this

Communicate with me again Never.

All he has to do is pull this lever

That is located behind the my creation, above my purpose, 

to the right of the depth of my soul

Create a distinct hate that will consume and swallow me whole.

Let his memories of me slide to the back of his mind

In the confine where the memories are kept that you don’t really want to find

Then I will be set free, the burden of this has grown too much for me

I have no one with whom it to share 
and there’s no reason for anyone else to care

Because I’ve been doing it so long, 
In addition to the fact that it’s so so wrong.

It can all be summed up in an Alicia Keys song

called

Goodbye.