Still Not Over You

by Blackpearl

Why can't I just let go of the memory of you		
After all this time why do I still feel the way that I do
Allowing you to entangle me in all of you mess
I should do something to save myself
From falling back into your life
There's no room for me anyway
Your new child and her mother have become your life
How easily I have been replaced
The love we had - erased
I'll make sure you don't ever see my face
I ran the long run, but still lost the race
To an unknown face
But I had already lost the game
Before I even knew her name
Things will never be the same
I was just a game to you
Now 2 years later, I still love you
Why I don't know
You were the only love I had, you know
So stay with your new family
Do you even miss me?
Why do I continue to still ask these stupid ass questions
As if I don't know the answer
Your love eats at me like a cancer
Or a growth, but you can't have us both
I will be fine, but it will take some time
To get over this love I have inside
It's too big to hide or put away
But I must, in order to carry on
With my life - absent of love
Why did I go through all that I went through
Just to end up still not having you
Why do I feel like I am supposed to be in your life
Like I deserve to be your wife
My whole world would be lost
You are not worth the cost
That I would have to pay
Just to make you stay
In my life.
I still can't understand
Why I even want you as my man
Why is it so much easier to for you
To find another person to give your love to
While I am still stuck with memories of me and you
You never meant me any good
I never thought you would
Stop loving me
After I had been so good to you
Why do I still miss you
When you put me through hell
Wouldn't work, wouldn't better yourself
Four long years of being with you
And after 2 years, why do I still love you?
Is it because I think I won't get another chance to love
I know that my loneliness depends
on my relationship to the man above
He told me to let you go and 3 years later,
my heart still says "no".
I have tried and tried you know.
I have tried to find comfort in the arms of others
But they couldn't compare with the lover of my soul
It was my heart they forgot to hold
I have to let you go
Before I go insane
I remember being on my knees and calling out your name
While in the arms of another you slept
While all night I wept
I knew what you were doing,
Where you were, and who you were screwing
But I had no more fight left in me
I let you wear me down
Now I look around and I still don't have the love
That at one time, I thought I had found
But my question today is
Why do I still love you like I do?
I guess the answer is, I love me less than I love you
I can see now that my sacrifices meant nothing to you
All the bullshit I had to wade through
After all this time, my heart still wants you
What my heart wants and what it needs are two different things
I put up with all of your miscellaneous flings
Only to find that your kind of love stings
I promise to get over you Gahmal
And after all is said and done
You will find
You threw away the wrong one.

Still Not Over You by Blackpearl

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