Why can't I stand up to you
And tell you that I'm too good for you
Tell you that I can do better than you

Why am I afraid to make you mad at me
But when you want, you insult me
Totally disrespect me
Cuz you have never  valued me
Why do I still want you to love me
Why is it important to me
That you still love me
Did you ever love me?

Why is that I sit and listen to you 
Never telling you what I really think of you
And how often I think of you
Wanting you
Needing you
Accepting what scraps of time are available with you
When you have someone else that lives with you
But like me, she is in love with you
But I know that I am just too good for you

But I want you to really see me
I want you to realize how lucky you are just to have had me
But you don't even want me
And I don't think you ever loved me
I think you were just using me
But it's killing me cuz you don't want me

How many more poems do I have to right about you
Lamenting about you
How many sleepless nights will be spent thinking of you
When you have an imposter sleeping next to you
When will my heart finally get over you
When will I stop making love to you
When will my heart stop beating just for you
And each day when I look good, I do it for you
Although I hardly ever see you
Just the thought of maybe bumping into you
I want to look so good to you
That you would do whatever it takes
Dump whoever it takes just to have me with you

But that day will never come for me
I have to start thinking of me
And realize that you are no good for me
Stop wishing that you were with me
That you actually loved me
Stop listening to you, when you lie to me
Realize that it was about your ego, never was about me
I guess I should start trying to heal me
Stop looking for you to do what I need to do for me
Guess I should stop wishing for you to come back to me
And realize that you never belonged to me
Stop comparing her to me
Stop wondering if she is prettier than me
Start fixing myself up for only me
Stop trying to understand why you left me
Stop tormenting myself with memories of you and me
But it's killing me 
But I must realize it's not about you or her
But it's really about me
God is not punishing me
By taking you away from me
He never wanted you with me
But I did what I wanted to do, 
You know me
Hard headed me
Soft-hearted me
Stubborn me
Rose-colored glasses me
No one can tell me what to do me
No one understands me, me
Insecure me
Not wanting to be alone ever again me
Got tired of waiting and never finding me
Didn't know that God was giving me
An opportunity to get to know me
I thought He was mad at me
And when you came along
I wanted you with me
So that I would never be alone with only me
But you kept me from me
You drained me
You took advantage of me
Now I am trying to get all of you, out of me
I am trying to get back to me.

I need to get back to me.