Land Of Me

by Blackpearl

Am I too much woman for you?
Now that my self esteem has begun to heal
Guess I always was, too much that is, but I just didn't know it
Is that the reason you turned a day of spring time and renewal
Into a season of inclement weather and dark thunderclouds
Like a hot steamy Georgia afternoon that starts with hot beautiful sunshine 
That gives rise to the dark thunderclouds that descend heavy and menacing

I put up with you, that is the real mystery in a dark chapter of my past
You did everything in your power to level my pride
You took away my magic mirror
I forgot who I was, was sent to be, or could have been

But if I were to be honest with my heart, 
I would find that it still longs for you
My body cries for you …
Only because it has known no one else for quite sometime
But in order for me to even stomach your touch
I would have to be the Her of Yesterday
Not the She of Today who has fought long and hard 
To survive in your hostile environment
The world and country that you created - 
I was your P.O.W.
Prisoner Of Wrongdoing
To the naked eye, I was physically free
Free to move about within the walls of my confines

Mountains of Manipulation
Country of Control
Desert of deceit
In the Land of Lies

I am now far from its borders
A Refugee of Insecurity
Former Slave of Self sacrifice


Once I am safely out of danger of recapture
I begin again on my own journey, I started before I met you
The scenery is beautiful but some pruning needs to be done
It suffers from neglect, cause I was so into you
But I still enjoy the view…

My self-created landscape is much different than that of your hostile world
The sunshine is pure and bright
It holds not contradiction in its light
No foreboding thunderclouds that threaten to drown everything in sight

I take time to relax in my Pastures of Possibilities
My Garden of Good Thoughts holds flowers in every hue:
    Lavender Lilacs of Self-Love that perfume the sky
    Buds of my Black Beauty curiously bloom in blue
    Red Roses of Rhymes that spring up from the earth of my mending soul
    Canary Carnations of Confidence struggle to take root and blossom in my soul's defrosting soil
Pink Petunias of Opportunity are in full bloom, now that I can see what a gift I was given in losing you.

But  there still exists Deserts of Self-doubt that lead to Lakes of Loneliness 
But the waters quench the thirst of Pastures of Passion that had long dried up after you abandoned me.  
Yet, I am hopeful they will once again bare Passion's Fruit.  

Land Of Me by Blackpearl

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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