I'm Not Your Enemy

by Blackpearl

I'm writing to the mother of the children of the men that we love
You have no reason to be angry, bitter or jealous of us
So please try to understand, that I can really be your best friend
If I am the woman that I say I am
I can be a good ally for you, if I truly love the man the way I say I do.
I know there aren't many women like me
That are willing to trust your baby's daddy - my man totally
But that all depends on how I feel about me - you see
As a woman, his woman - if I love him like I say I do
I should have no problem with his child or you
I should demand that he give what is due
And make sure that he pays child support to you
If I don't demand these simple things - I will end up bitter too
Cuz he will do me that same way he did you
But ya'll make it hard sometimes, with the attitude
And the attitude that says "he used to be mine"
I don't want to get into what happened between him and you
I wasn't there, so why should I care?
I don't have time or want to hear my man slander you
You just need to know what kind of woman I am
I won't harm your child but love it as my own
Not trying to take your place at all
Good now try to keep up because I'm on a roll
I'm all woman baby - heart, mind, and soul 
So either you come with respect or don't come at all
Because I refuse to act less than a lady because of ya'll
The kids are welcome and free to come visit, childcare will be paid
But girl don't mistake it
If you call my house clowning and with all of that mess
You gone be paying that shit by yourself
Not that I don't want him to care for his kids cuz I do
But I will not be disrespected by any of you
I will tell him when he's wrong and be an advocate for you
Because I am a single mother too
I will not trade in my baby mama pass
Just because I'm loving his ass
I will not forget where I came from
And I will never try to take anything from his daughter or son
I am here to make peace and bring about change
So don't step to me with an attitude and call me out my name
I can be your best friend or worst enemy
So tell me, who do you want me to be
I will be the voice of reason he hears
When I explain to him what you fear
I will be the soothing voice of pillow talk
To ask him to help you get a car
So you and your child don't have to walk
I'm telling you girl, I'm on your side
But you have to cooperate too
You have to show him you are worthy of the help
That he will -at my suggestion - offer you
You have to show him and me that you have moved on
And that you are working through your problems
Don't worry girl, I got your back
He will be calling to apologize for what he did way back
And if you two find, there is still love there
Then I will get out the way, cuz
My job's done here.
I'm not about breaking up families
I came to restore order
I came to open up the lines of communication
For your sons and daughters
I came sent by God on behalf of the child
To convey softly, what gets lost when 2 get loud
I went through so much in my own life
And I realized that if I didn't get over what had happened to me
I would never be fit to be any man's wife
I had to change my mind, heal my heart
In order for my life to really start
I had to examine my motives and study myself
I found out that I shared more blame than anyone else
I had to keep it real and take an inventory inside
I found out that I was more angry and hurt because my dad had died
And I carried that pain with me as I grew up
It had been too long - I had to fess up
Yes, I was abused and beaten like a dog
But because of the pain in my past
My mind was in a fog
I didn't know what real love was
I told you before - I was really fucked up
But I stopped blaming, naming, and fighting
So I picked up my pen - and started writing
I found that what I went through was tragic
But put down on paper had a healing magic
So now I know I went through all of that pain and abuse
So I could sit at my desk at work
And reach some of you
And speak volumes of forgiveness and truth to you
You know the Blackpearl is going to keep it real with you
I will admit when I was wrong and admit when I was at fault
I played a major role, in the bum deal that I bought
So who can I blame - yes he called bitch like it was my name
But his name was "dirty MF" all the same
So no one really won, we both actually lost
But why let my babies pay the final cost
I fought long and hard to establish a civil relationship
It didn't work for years but it takes 2 to commit
So I stepped off a bit
And took care of my kids without a word
And a lot of blessings came my way
That made it possible for me to do it every day
But I swear it because of the prayers that I prayed
That God would make me a better person, and give me forgiving heart
And that's when all the blessings began to start
I prayed for his happiness and a change in his mind
It took years to come about, but now he is kind
And sometimes we still don't agree
But I will end this poem saying it all started with me.

I'm Not Your Enemy by Blackpearl

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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