I Am An Ocean

by Blackpearl

I am an ocean. Calm yet turbulent,
my many depths harbor feelings and emotions
that cause my whole being to be a contradiction.
The water is deep. I am strong yet fragile.
Like the ocean, I have become a garbage can
for the world and their issues.
I toss the refuge that litters my soul back onto my shore.
Although I have the capacity to contain it all in my being,
still there is no room.
I appear to be strong but I am weak
against the tide that rolls in and out.
I color my emotions like the ocean takes its hue from the sky.
Deep within me are many treasures that may never be discovered,
so I must stir up the waters of my soul.
Sift through the contents of my soul
and decide whether my findings are treasures
or just the litter of the world.
I am cold like ice, but have a never ending depth
for compassion and forgiveness.
I am hemmed in by large mountains of confusion
that causes me to take many detours.
The cliffs are my mind.
Worn, rugged, sharp yet smooth.
In my depths lie the secrets of my creation
into the body of water I have become.
My cliffs have been formed by pain, and experience.
The sharp, jagged edges and cliffs give testament
to my unwillingness to be hurt again.
The next to scale me, should proceed with caution.
The smooth places in my soul bear witness to my life experiences
and how the world has eroded the reality of my upbringing.
People and the search for love from them have eaten away at my shores.
The love I have never found continues to create in me
an abyss of horrific proportions.
I am close to God like the ocean but I still can not reach Him.
He watches over me with the eyes of a lighthouse,
shedding light into my dark places.
Only He knows the depths of my ocean and the contents thereof.
The tranquility of my ocean can be experienced
in a poem or one look into my eyes.
The hue of my ocean is dark and ominous.
The dark waters of my soul continue to pound at my beach
undoing all the work I have done, like children building sand castles
only to have the sea reclaim it.
My navy blue waters long to be like the beaches of Mexico
and the Carribean islands, always so much more beautiful
than the waters of mine.
I long to be pristine, crystal clear, and warm to the touch.
Instead my waves are dark as night, cold as ice,
and unfit for human occupancy.
Barracudas, and sharks swim in my essence and benefit from my very existence.
They give no thought to the havoc they cause.
They are predators only interested in what my ocean has to offer them.

I Am An Ocean by Blackpearl

© Copyright 2000. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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