The Best Medicine
by Benita Diggs
She felt trapped by her routine. Tired of awakening to her everyday machine, Zaire decided to break away, to make a change in her mundane life.
Sitting on the side of her bed with her legs dangling, sleep still in her eyes, Zaire giggled at the thought of how her boss, Mr. Creeley, would look when she was not present to shred paper, take calls, write memos, retrieve coffee...to be his slave. She fell backwards laughing at how lost he would be without her. "He wouldn't know what to do! His whole world would be shattered without me!" she thought as she rolled around on the bed. When the laughter had finally released her, Zaire leaped from her bed and skipped into her bathroom for her shower.
Feeling the warm droplets of water pelt against her skin, she smiled, enjoying the aqua massage. It was almost like tiny hands all over, clapping against her. Clapping?! Clapping! Hysterical laughter took control of Zaire at the thought of clapping hands falling out of the showerhead. She laughed until her stomach began to hurt. Then the laughter stopped as suddenly as it had begun.
Refreshed, Zaire turned off the clapping water and stepped out of the shower, eager to start her new life. She quickly threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts that put enough of her thighs on display to tickle her ego and provoke stares but not enough to present her as anything besides a lady. Comfortable with her appearance, she grabbed her keys and ran to her car, jumped in, and headed out to no destination at all.
After having driven for hours around the city looking anew at all the scenes she had come to know over the years, Zaire stopped to fill her tank. When she tepped out of her car, she immediately heard the screeching of tires and the thud-squish of a body against pavement. She turned around just in time to see the black sports car speed away, leaving red kitty pulp along the dotted white line in the road. She tilted her head slightly to the left, as if this would give her a clearer image, and began to laugh...hysterically...so hard that she had to lean back on her car to rest, holding her aching stomach. Moments later she let out a yell which ended her laughing spell; she went on to fill up her thirsty vehicle.
Having paid for her gas, she set out to nowhere once again, seeing the familiars of the city for the first time. Suddenly, the monster in her stomach began to roar, a raucous that tugged a smile onto her face. Seeing a fast food restaurant coming up quickly to her right, Zaire glanced in her rearview mirror and zoomed into the right lane, forcing the car approaching her on the right to slam on brakes, missing her by barely an inch. As she swerved into the parking lot, she threw her head back in joyous laughter. "I slay me!" she yelled in delight while pulling into a parking space.
After looking around an seeing that not many people were in the restaurant, she stepped out of the car, still laughing. By the time she had placed her hand on the door, her laughter had escalated to the point at which the door became a leaning post. Several people inside looked at her for a moment, but quickly turned away when she began to scream at them, "What?!!! Haven't you ever seen somebody having fun before?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! You pitiful...you...you...you..." Her voice trailed off as her laughter had done just before she had started screaming. Just then, a morose look came about her face and she turned her back to the people, dragging herself back to her car.
"What the...what...what's wrong with..." She couldn't bring herself to think that there was actually something wrong with her, that she had somehow snapped, so she simply drove away instead, in search of another source of food. Having made a spectacle of herself before, she decided to go through the drive-through of the next establishment she found.
Her hunger satisfied, she drove around until she felt the urge to do something wild. Seeing a liquor store, she pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of her car. An older man who had walked up just as she had made it to the door opened the door for her and she smiled at him in gratitude. Once inside, she followed the man around the store a bit. He turned to glare at her several times before he finally faced her and asked if he were some kind of magnet that attracted her.
"No, you're no magnet. You just...attract...me," she let the words drip out of her mouth slowly like honey oozing off of the comb.
The man gave her a sensual smile and asked if she would like to go somewhere with him. She moistened her lips, showing her tongue as she did so, and answered, moving close enough so that he could hear her whisper, "If you buy me something good, I'll go anywhere you please."
He wasted no time in purchasing what Zaire wanted and guided her outside. "Oh, wait. I just need to get something from my car. Why don't you, um," she paused to let the man wonder what it was that she was about to say, to let his mind drive him insane with lust, "why don't you just follow me and I, um, just might give you an appetizer before the feast."
Losing no time, he walked her to her car and allowed her room to enter the vehicle. While she leaned over to rummage through an imaginary bag on the passenger side, she lifted her leg, making certain that her thigh could be seen. As soon as the older man got close enough to get a better view, she swung the door open, hitting him in the part of his anatomy that was not made to receive a punch. The vicious hit caused the man to fall to his knees wailing in pain, a sight that brough the hysterical laughter back to Zaire. There she left him as she continued to laugh.
In the middle of her laughing spell, Zaire realized that she had forgotten to get her liquor. "Now, that's not funny at all." She looked at her watch, finding that it was just after 5 PM. Mr. Creeley. Almost magically, her car found its way to the building in which she worked. Without realizing it, she had soon parked the car and ridden the elevator to her floor. Once the elevator doors had opened, she walked to her desk, finding a pile of untouched mail, which she began to open with her favorite letter opener as if she had not missed a minute of work. Amidst the mountain of envelopes, she came a cross a brightly decorated one that seemed so out of place that it made her laugh...and laugh...and... Hearing Zaire, Mr. Creeley stormed into the room, shouting at her for missing work. She spun around and began to laugh hysterically when she saw his face redden with anger. "You...aha, aha, aha...you look so...ahaaaaaaaaaaaah, aha, aha...you look so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" By the time she had finished her sentence, Mr. Creeley was standing within inches of her, yelling at full throttle. The more he screamed the more she laughed. She could not help herself. She could not stop the laughter, not even after she was standing there watching the blood spurt out of the side of Mr. Creeleys's neck where the letter opener had become a part of him.