Pimp His Way Into Heaven

by Antoleia Davis

He is always dressed to a tee
As he leads his congregation to the Promised Land 
Each and every Sunday morning

Voice that commands respect 
Dialect like that of a smooth talking hustler
Not a wave out of place

Pinky ring resembling that of my favorite rapper
Dapper has a way with the ladies like no other
Like he studied under the greatest

Spectators impressed by his sharp suits 
Alligator boots to match each outfit
More time spent getting ready than his better half
I laugh as in my eyes I see
A pimp disguised as a preacher

He reaches youth, elders dedicated to him
Common folk praise him in sync as they praise God
From my seat it looks like heís trying hard 
To pimp his way into heaven

He rolls with the best of them 
And on a well lit street Cadillac rims beaming
Lexus sign shining, gold tooth blinding
Owns private jets, helicopters
A private number a private doctor
And the oddest thing Iíve seen to date
Bodyguards protecting and serving him
Stopped depending on the twenty third psalms
Ye though I walk through the valley

Sermons always lead to a need to raise more funds
Platinum medallion of a cross costing as much as my high school tuition
Must get permission to speak with him
Sign a list to sleep with him
Deacons try to compete with him in a silent
Whoís dressed the best contest

Got a suit every color of the 64 pack of crayons
No rayon in the hood youíll see strictly Coogi and pinstripes
And on the other side of town
Heís surrounded by designer labels
A stable of people who see him as a god
Heís trying hard to pimp his way into heaven

Like a showcase
Has tithers race to a separate line
No excuses cause heís got a tyme machine in the back
An overview of the church looks like a scene in fact
From pimps up hoes down
I mean half of the people in the crowd 
Closed out the clubs last night
Pastor knows cause he was out creeping and rode right by them
Doesnít work cause he relies on his people
Tabloids are reading 
Pastor pimp caught with his pants down in a love scandal
One scenario the daughter of the lady who 
Wanted to be the next first lady just had pastorís baby
Maybe itís his furs that attracted her 
His game captured her she wanted to join his entourage 
I find it hard to respect a man of God
Who I could stand up next to pimping Ron
And they both adorned in the finest pieces
Could be labeled pimp of the year

Pimp His Way Into Heaven by Antoleia Davis

© Copyright 2004. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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