I walked through the hotel lobby with expectations of seeing my homeboy...and when I got to the doors...it was the man I loved who smiled at me, with open arms waiting...but my vision was blurry that day...so I senselessly shook off the thoughts of loving you.

And even though the smoke screens of doubt and fear were trying to lull me ...the profound light of truth would not let me sleep...blaring visions of the moment of our embrace into the windows of my heart and soul...but my intellect would not let me forget who I was...not.

So I tried to continue to ride the platonic wave that kept me deprived of the honesty that my spirit begged me to embrace from day one...but my heart was weak and my flesh was willing with unworthy others, because I thought love in your atmosphere was intangible.

But the rented Chrysler 300 and the appeasement with my family, friends and my unpredictable moods gave my spirit grounds to argue with; for my heart was tired of being disrespected and my desire would not tolerate anymore rejection...because the quixotic behavior was no longer noble amongst Agape love that had graduated to levels of Eros.

And just as my vision became clear and my heart felt strong enough to confess...the weekend was over with another year of thanks for birth behind me...and as our planes went in opposite directions of the coast we call home...I decided that Tony Benet wasn't the only one that could leave things behind. They say hind sight is 20/20, and it's now 4 years after Vegas...2 years after arrogantly admitting...1 year after accepting your silence...6 months after accepting the loss...3 months after accepting myself, and a day after realizing...that what happened in Vegas should have never stayed there.