by Stephanie Angelique

It only takes one to create chaos within, 
while so many surround you with offerings of peace.
And reflections verifying the existence of beauty Within, as well as without, 
Find it hard to compete with the ugliness of feeling invisible
To the one your heart seeks during it's spiritual infirmity.
And as the fever of sick love rises, creating bacteria, within the bones of your soul,
You find your feelings of tangibility escaping you...for you are drowning in the gifts
That your being is comprised of because you keep going deeper in the well of self,
To offer your love interest the drink that will quench the thirst that he ignores...
And drowning soon becomes suffocation for you can't seem to catch your breath
For he steals the air of your essence so that he can exhale on the femininity of others
Who are not woman enough to inhale for themselves.
And you watch your self esteem lay comatose, existing on the life support of words
Sacredly written centuries before the world was ready for your mortality to become manifested
And the great physician assigns his resident, Jehovah Rophe to administer the IV drip of faith
Into the veins of your spirituality so that your will to love will be resuscitated.
But you can no longer see yourself because the cancer called selfish insensitivity
Has caused arrogance to infect the crevices of his heart, leaving you feeling less than
Even though you have bore the children he walked away from...
Nurtured the visions that he only prospered from...
Encouraged the heart of his desires...and prayed for the blessings that have now come to fruition
In his new life, with his new wife, who is not you.
And you try to understand why you can't seem to let go of the fruit
That keeps your hand stuck in the hole...and you pray for strength to release 
What is truly not meant for you...then you find fear standing in our way
And you realize that you held on waiting for the proof of the existence of your womanhood...
Hoping for the acknowledgment of the sacredness of your femininity.
Searching for your whole existence to be seen as well as desired
By the one you wrongly chose to love...for one gifted by God does not recognize you
As God's gift and his rejection leaves your feeling...Unreal.
...And you wear that feeling....unreal feeling... until you open your fist
And pull your hand out of the hole of despair so that Jehovah Jirah 
Can give you the spiritual chef who delights in feeding your soul...
For he recognizes the reality that God has created and prepared you both for.

Unreal by Stephanie Angelique

© Copyright 2006. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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