After my offering of a personal confirmation of his blessed status, He said "Happy New Year...Prosper and Achieve your goals" But what he did not know was that my long time goal had been to forget that I ever knew him... But of course if I did that I would not prosper within the truth my soul has come to know so well.

He said "Happy New Year..." but what he does not realize is that my year was Happy long before it was new because I was finally aware of who I was to me...and who I was NOT to him. And I can't believe that it has come to the point of raggedy... raggedy...raggedy two line emails between two people who once said that "can't nothing make us ever stop being friends"...But of course I recognize that I should stop saying "can't" because I cried to God saying "I can't live without him"...and two years later I am living...like those folks in the commercials who are told they only have six months to live after being diagnosed with cancer.

And I guess that I am writing this poem because it is the Eulogy that needs to be spoken before the soul of this relationship is finally laid to rest... And I probably sent the initial text as a subconscious form of Euthanasia because I was tired and knew it was time to disconnect the life support of hope that I had for reconciliation.

And his tired two lines was the switching of the off button...the pulling of the plug...the cutting off of the tube... And it is these last words that I need to say over a decade of knowing the only man that I ever shared who I really was with...ironically because I didn't know who I really was when it came to him. They say hind sight is 20/20 and even though I can see clearly now...I won't be like those folks who throw themselves all over the casket...I am making my peace with this death...knowing that this is how it has to be...because I have to be...